Avery – 00:01

Hi, I’m Avery Thatcher, a former ICU nurse, and this is not your standard stress management podcast where we just focus on those band-aid solutions like the benefits of meditation, mindfulness, and self-care.

You already know that you need some kind of recovery strategy to deal with your stressful life.

But what you may not know are all of the sneaky ways that society, our upbringing and our high achieving nature, and so many other factors contribute to our risk of burnout.

That, my friend, is what we talk about here on this podcast because you can’t do something about a situation that you’re not aware of, right?

So if you’re ready to get out of the pattern of burning out, feeling better, only to burn out again, it’s time for us to shed the light on the truth about burnout.

All right, friends, we’ve got somebody else that’s brave and coming on here to talk about their burnout stories.

So welcome, Laura.

Avery – 00:55

I’m so happy to have you.

Laura – 00:56

Thank you for having me, Avery, and happy to be here.

Avery – 01:02

So most people, when they come on here, they do identify as being a high achiever.

And it sounds like you maybe noticed this a little bit later, or did you notice right away that you were a high achiever?

Laura – 01:15

I didn’t really recognize That I was a high achiever until well into my adult life.

I always focused on doing things as best as I could and I had what I thought at the time was a really good work ethic But I didn’t perceive it as being a high achiever.

Just that’s just how I was wired.

That’s just how it was.

And it really wasn’t until my mid forties actually that I started recognizing, okay, yeah, I’ve accomplished these things in my life, but at what cost?

And it was that kind of epiphany that happened for me.

Avery – 01:59

Yeah, so do you feel like sharing what some of those sort of red flags were, the things that you noticed that sort of made you wonder at what cost?

Because we often talk about how hindsight’s a jerk, so can you shine some light on those red flags for someone?

Laura – 02:14

Yeah, absolutely.

Just kind of looking back, work always came first and when my son was very young I felt terrible because I had a job where I had to travel quite often and I would have so much guilt but it didn’t change things because I still had to do the job and I still had to travel and I’ll never forget when he

was eight years old we took him to Disney World for his birthday and I was still working on vacation.

At the time we lived in New Jersey so we drove down to Florida And for the stretches where I was not driving, I was sitting in the back seat working.

And this is before cell phones were very popular, but I remember distinctly standing in the big golf ball feature amusement in Epcot on a payphone working.

And that was ridiculous.

It was my son’s birthday.

Laura – 03:22

And I thought it was just like, that’s just what I was doing.

You know, I was I was the boss of the thing that I was working on at the time and I just kept working and it was crazy.

Avery – 03:34

You know, I think a lot of people can relate to that because it’s so easy in the moment just to keep going.

Laura – 03:42

It really is.

It really is.

And it’s just, it’s so not healthy.

It’s so not healthy.

But the biggest event for me where things changed was In December 2010, my husband and I, we originally met in Phoenix and we were living in Seattle until October 2010. And we moved back to Phoenix because my mother had gotten very sick and she was in Phoenix.

So we went down and we moved back to help take care of her.

So Ultimately what happened was my mother needed open heart surgery.

Laura – 04:28

She ended up having a quadruple bypass.

So it was pretty significant.

And again, same mentality, different job.

I’m in the waiting room while my mother’s having the serious surgery, still working.

Just the theme carried through.

Excuse me.

And then in December, December 5th, Specifically 2010 my mother was back in the hospital again because she was getting lots of complications after her surgery and at this point now my husband and I moved back we’re living in Phoenix full-time and we were out one Sunday afternoon running errands and

Laura – 05:12

we had just purchased a new bedroom set and I decided I wanted the matching nightstands so we went and we picked up the nightstands And right after that, I was going to go see my mother at the hospital and my husband was kind of getting visitation burnout.

So he asked if it was okay if he stayed home.

So I was like, okay, that’s fine.

We’re sitting at a traffic light, waiting like a left hand turn and we’re huge hockey fans.

So the last thing I remember is my husband going, is there any hockey on us?

We have NHL center ice, there’s always hockey on.

And the next thing, this is December 5th, next thing I know it’s right before New Year’s Eve and I’m waking up in a hospital.

Laura – 06:00

So ultimately, yeah, ultimately what happened was while we were sitting at this traffic light, a woman under the influence of PCP crashed into the back of our car.

And I mentioned the nightstands earlier specifically because when she hit us, Those nightstands became missiles.

So when the nightstands launched, the one behind my husband was upright and I was driving.

The one behind me was lying down and they plowed into the back of us.

The woman pushed her car through the intersection.

We barely missed three other cars and the car exploded.

So needless to say, we had some pretty significant injuries and, I was on the side where the gas tank was so I had some pretty significant burns and I was in a medically induced coma for three weeks.

Laura – 06:58

Hence the gap in what I remember.

Anyway, obviously we’re here, we recovered, we’re doing very well, but what hit me was during the recovery process Um, it just, even in the hospital, I was still checking my voicemail and then it finally hit me.

I was like, this is no pun intended on that one.

It occurred to me, what am I doing?

It’s like you are in the hospital.

You were in an accident where you nearly died.

Why are you checking your voicemail?

Laura – 07:33

Um, it started to occur to me.

That I need to start reevaluating my work ethic that I thought was this great work ethic.

And that’s when I really started reflecting back over my career, thinking to myself, this is pretty crazy.

Think about the things that, you know, the traveling while your son was young, the working in Disney world, the working while in the waiting room while your mother’s having serious surgery, the, Hours that you’re putting in and taking away from your family and just the stress, it was impacting my

own health as well.

But it took this near-death experience for me to have this realization that I needed to stop, I needed to make this change.

So that was the beginning of my journey toward shifting my mindset.

Avery – 08:26

That is a super powerful story and it’s literally like your foundation was shook like you said you didn’t have a near life or near death experience so what has changed since then like what steps did you take because it’s all well and good for us to logically say like hey I need to make a shift

but to get our body and our emotions on board that’s another thing so what did you do that kind of brought those two things together?

Laura – 08:53

You know it was still very don’t say very, but it was still a long process for me to get from that moment to where I am today.

So I literally could not work for a while because I was recovering from this, this serious accident.

And ultimately what happened was my mother ended up passing away the following May and we moved back to Seattle in June, shortly after that, And I still had the same job this whole time.

Fortunately, I was working someplace where I could transfer between offices, but I remember my first day back physically in the Seattle office, my boss went, glad you’re back.

And a project that had been left when the accident happened in December, no one had picked up on.

And he now wanted me to complete this project in a month’s time.

When it should have been worked on all along and it needed that six months just to get going.

Laura – 10:00

And I was so stunned.

I was like, wait a minute.

You know everything that just happened to me in the past six months.

And that’s all you can say is glad you’re back.

I need you to have this project done next month.

And that’s when it really started hitting me that things are not right.

This is a toxic environment and I need to not be here.

Laura – 10:25

So shortly after that incident, still took me another couple of months, I finally said, you know what?

I can’t do this anymore.

So I left the position.

I quit that job.

And then I went out and I freelanced for a little while.

Ironically, that same company closed my client for about a year, but It was that kind of that year of growth is what I’ll call it.

Just this year of transition where my husband and I just essentially, we never went to counseling or any therapy or anything for accident to deal with the emotional side of it.

Laura – 11:03

But we spent that year just kind of helping each other work through the process and really seriously evaluate what it was that we want in our lives.

So that’s when the journey seriously started.

After that year, I got another job at a different, similar job, but entirely different work culture.

And I was very clear in the interview, work-life balance is very important to me.

And this is a company where they encouraged you to take vacations.

Oh, that was the other thing I forgot to mention.

With the place where I was working when the accident occurred, I never took time off.

Laura – 11:45

And when the accident occurred I had so much PTO accumulated that I didn’t have any decline in my paycheck.

I had short-term disability and after that I just took PTO and then I had enough PTO left over that I could still take more PTO to move back to Seattle.

That was ridiculous.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It’s just to, to never take time off and just completely burn yourself out like that.

It’s just, that’s yeah.

Laura – 12:25

I had some very warped priorities at that point in my life.

So anyway, then I started working at this other place and it was just a much healthier environment and a great place for me to take the time to figure out what I really, really wanted in my life and, and Evaluate things and ultimately that’s what led to where I am today, where I was in the legal

marketing space for a long time.

That’s where I worked those last few jobs.

And then I just did a complete shift, culture shift even, in my career and I became a health and wellness coach.

So that’s how I am where I am today.

Avery – 13:09

There you are.

And I love that you highlighted those two key components.

Clarity, number one, that makes you know what you want, not what society, your upbringing, whatever is told you should want.

And then number two, boundaries, and just setting those clearly and with compassion, but saying like, this is the line.

Only I get to decide if that line gets crossed.

So those two things are super powerful.

So tell me a little bit about you now.

Avery – 13:38

So you’ve mentioned that you’re a health coach.

So tell us a little bit about that.

Laura – 13:43

Yeah, I’ve been doing it now for about four years actually this month and I love it.

I absolutely love it.

This started again when I was still working in the legal space and Lawyers are known, the legal field is known to have high rates of alcoholism, drug addiction, suicide, a lot of very, very unhealthy, because it can be a very unhealthy environment.

And it’s not just lawyers, it’s also the staff that work for the lawyers.

And My last firm things had improved but there was nothing, I mean we had doughnut day every once a month, we had pizza day, there were Countless in-office happy hours.

There was always alcohol available, things like that.

And that went with both of the firms that I worked with.

Laura – 14:47

But what happens is you start eating those things and all that bad temptation is around coupled with the stress that comes with the demands of the things that you need to do.

And I became a very, very unhealthy person.

I had put on a lot of weight, high blood pressure, high cholesterol.

And I just mentioned earlier that my mother At heart disease, so that’s clearly not a good thing for me.

And I met a woman at a party and she told me she was a health coach.

And I was so fascinated with this.

Then I started working with her and within six months, I think I lost like 20 pounds and more importantly, I felt incredible.

Laura – 15:32

I felt absolutely amazing.

And I wanted, I felt like I found like this secret potion or something like that.

Like I opened the genie out of the bottle and I wanted to share it with as many people as I could.

So I started researching what would be involved to become a health coach.

And I’ve never looked back.

I started part-time when I was still working and then eventually this is all I do.

And I absolutely love it.

Laura – 16:02

There’s nothing more satisfying, Then when you help a client have the same epiphany that I had, when they quote unquote get it and they recognize how incredible they feel.

And I have a client who I just finished with and he mentioned several times, he goes, I like to see myself in pictures now.

And that’s just to help someone reach that level is the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done.

So it’s pretty incredible.

Avery – 16:36

You can hear the passion in your voice, Laura.

Like you can tell that this is your purpose.

This is what you’ve meant to do.

So tell us, how can people learn a little bit more about you and the work that you do?

Where can they find you?

Laura – 16:48

Uh, they can find me, my company’s called Leaf Wellness Coaching and I’m at leaf, L E A F wellness coaching.com or they can email info at leaf wellness coaching.com or I’m on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, any of those as well.

And also what’s incredibly exciting for our practice right now is we have just become a CDC approved provider for diabetes prevention education.

And I’m very, very excited about this.

So this is a new offering that we’re starting and we’ll be doing it in person and online.

So people have the options of what works best for them.

And my goal is to Ultimately, I want to offer this to more senior populations and low-income populations as well.

So I’m very excited about presenting this to whomever I can.

Avery – 17:50

Because you can’t see the video because you’re listening to this right now.

You can’t see how excited I am.

That is so amazing, Laura.

Congrats.

Laura – 17:58

Thank you.

Yeah.

I’m pretty excited about it.

Yeah.

So it’s, Such a neat and I live in Washington state now and what surprised me as I was going through this process is how few providers are actually available in the state.

And the closest city where I’m based is in Tacoma and I know One of only two providers in the entire city and that’s kind of crazy to me.

So I’m very excited that I am able to now help people because it’s a pretty, it’s pretty significant.

Laura – 18:37

I don’t know what the rates are in Canada, but in the United States, one in three adult Americans have prediabetes and of those people, most of them don’t know that they have it.

And if they can catch it early enough, they can prevent it from turning into full-on diabetes.

So it’s a really exciting thing to be able to do.

Avery – 19:04

Absolutely and again you can hear it in your voice just how excited you are about it.

So if any of that sounds like it could be interesting for you go check Laura’s stuff out we’re going to link to all of it in the show notes.

Yeah so thank you so much Laura for coming here and sharing your story so bravely and so openly I really appreciate it.

Laura – 19:24

Thank you, thank you very much I was really happy to be here I enjoyed speaking with you.

Avery – 19:30

Hey hey, do not press that skip button yet.

Yes, this is the end of the episode, but I still have something else I think you’re really gonna like.

I know, you’re already an expert at setting goals that push you out of your comfort zone.

Let’s be real, you’re a high achiever after all.

But how often do you sabotage yourself on the way to achieving those goals?

Perfectionism, procrasti-planning, over-committing, holding yourself to a double standard.

All of these things can sabotage our progress by either slowing it down or making it impossible for us to achieve our goals.

Avery – 20:03

Like we talk about so often on this podcast, awareness of what’s causing the issue is the first step.

So take that first step by going to thetruthaboutburnout.com slash quiz to take our free quiz to discover your self-sabotage style.

And of course, I won’t leave you stuck.

Once you complete the quiz and discover your primary self-sabotage style, I’ll follow up with an email giving you ideas about what to do about it so that it stops holding you back.

Go to thetruthaboutburnout.com slash quiz to get started.

That’s it for now, until next week.