Avery – 00:00

Money is a significant contributor to our stress, but I think a lot of us know maybe that money needs to be looked at or addressed or that we need to change something, but we’re not really sure how to fix it.

And also we don’t know how to lower the impact that financial stress has on our nervous system.

In today’s episode with Patrice Malloy, we dig into all of this, including her own unique burnout stories as well.

Hi, I’m Avery Thatcher, a former ICU nurse, and this is not your standard stress management podcast where we just focus on those band-aid solutions like the benefits of meditation, mindfulness, and self-care.

You already know that you need some kind of recovery strategy to deal with your stressful life.

But what you may not know are all of the sneaky ways that society, our upbringing and our high achieving nature, and so many other factors contribute to our risk of burnout.

That, my friend, is what we talk about here on this podcast because you can’t do something about a situation that you’re not aware of, right?

Avery – 01:05

So if you’re ready to get out of the pattern of burning out, feeling better, only to burn out again, it’s time for us to shut the light on the truth about burnout.

Alright friends, I am very excited to have this conversation here with Patrice today because she talks about something that I think all of us logically know contributes to our stress, but we don’t always know how to fix it.

So welcome Patrice, I’m really excited for you to be here.

Patrice – 01:37

Thank you, I’m excited to be here as well.

Avery – 01:39

So why don’t you tell us a little bit about you and your burnout story, sort of where that started for you.

Patrice – 01:47

Oh my gosh.

So I’ve had a couple of burnout stories, quite honestly.

So just a little bit about me.

I am an accountant by trade and by profession, and I’m currently a fractional CFO and a tax strategist.

So my focus is to empower female founders, entrepreneurs, and high income earners to master their money and navigate the IRS tax code that they can build on apologetic wealth and create a financial legacy.

And It wasn’t always like this, I can definitely say that.

I’ve had a fairly long corporate background where by that time I was in the C-suite, so just that in and of itself is stressful as I’m sure you can imagine.

Patrice – 02:31

One of the I’d say most kind of memorable burnout situations that I had was when I was working on a project that was like a multi-year project.

And it did not necessarily occur to me at the time, but I was noticing that I was having really bad headaches.

I was just irritable.

I did not want to show up for work.

I had lost, you know, interest in what it was that I was doing.

Sleeping was an issue.

You could kind of start to feel those like physical like changes in your body.

Patrice – 03:01

You know, your neck is hurting.

Your muscles are sore.

You know, you’re not eating well.

You’re either losing weight or gaining weight at a pace that’s not you know typical for your body it’s just those are some of the things that I experienced and then it just got to the point where I got headaches that were so bad that I just like I could not function and so I knew you know that

something had to give and it wasn’t going to be my health so I had to basically take time away from my job.

In order to kind of heal myself and get back to a place where I felt, you know, normal.

So that was one of the things that I definitely like, I knew my body was telling me something, but because I think of my personality and just the responsibilities that I had on my plate, I just could not stop.

Avery – 03:50

Yes.

So tell me a little bit more about that.

So what parts of your personality do you feel helped contribute to burnout?

Patrice – 04:01

I am a Type A person.

Avery – 04:02

I am a… I’m raising my hand over here.

Yep.

That’s one.

Patrice – 04:06

I am a… I’m going to say reformed.

I know I’m a recovering perfectionist.

Multiple speakers – 04:13

It’s just like… Okay.

Avery – 04:14

Is this like a put your finger down challenge?

I feel like everybody’s going to be putting fingers down.

Patrice – 04:22

I just come from a school of like if you’re gonna do a job do it well it’s like don’t do it at all so I’ve always kind of had that in the back of my mind it’s and then especially as women right showing up in different spaces it’s just you have to just be that much better to fit in with like the

basic people if I’m being honest right So it’s just always this extra push, extra challenge, extra, I guess, proof type of process that we kind of go through.

We just have to show that we’re supposed to be here and that was my issue.

Avery – 04:56

Absolutely.

So when you see those parts of your personality driving you now, what are some of those red flags that Maybe like again like we always talk about hindsight’s a jerk so what are the things looking back there could you see that maybe you missed?

Patrice – 05:13

Oh gosh, so definitely where I’m getting to a place where I really can’t focus clearly on what is it I’m doing.

I know I need to take a break.

It’s like, okay, stand up, go grab something to eat, go take a walk, just do something to kind of refresh yourself and get back to a place where you can refocus on what it is that you’re doing and do it well.

That’s definitely one of the things that I look at.

If a headache starts to kind of come on or if I’m starting to feel the tension in the back of my neck, I also know that I need to take a little break.

If I’m not finished with something, I need to just get it to a point where I know I can restart the next day and be okay with leaving something unfinished.

That’s definitely something that I’ve been working on as well and just realizing that progress is better than perfection.

Patrice – 05:56

So as long as I’m doing what I’m supposed to do, as long as, you know, I’m feeding the children and everybody’s okay.

Okay, we’ve succeeded today so just giving myself grace quite honestly I think is something that I’ve been working on for sure and it’s not really something that I did in the past.

Avery – 06:14

I think you’re in good company with that.

I think that our ability to show ourselves compassion has been trained out of us very young especially as people that identify as female because we’re supposed to be the nurturers So it just makes it so that we are so much more inclined to deprioritize ourselves.

So for sure.

There was a couple of things that you said, which I just really wanted to state again, and that is progress is more important than perfection.

And that is something which I was like, if you were listening to this right now, I know you’re probably saying like, yeah, I know, but it’s something for you to really start thinking about also to give yourself grace, because really A lot of our habits that are leading to burnout are not our

fault.

It’s stuff that we were trained into, it’s stuff that capitalism, neocolonialism, the patriarchy are all kind of driving for us.

Avery – 07:13

So we have to learn how to work with that rather than have it work against us.

So tell me for you Patrice, what things besides like taking that time off of work, what things helped you recover from burnout?

Patrice – 07:26

Spending time with my family, you know, just really letting them know, you know, what’s been going on, being able to kind of decompress and talk things through, making sure that, you know, not that I wasn’t crazy, but that I wasn’t taking on more than was possible, you know, in a set period of time.

And just being honest with myself, you know, saying, you know, I’m not feeling good and it has to be for a reason.

So really just kind of like unpacking what it is that was causing those, you know, shifts in mood, not feeling well, the fluctuations in your eating habits and sleeping and all of those things.

I just had to really be honest with myself and say, it’s this job.

It’s the rate at which I’m moving.

It’s the way that I’m pushing myself and I have to stop so that I’m able to function.

Avery – 08:12

Yeah, absolutely.

So now, do you still identify as a high achiever even though you’ve kind of healed from that part of burnout?

Patrice – 08:20

I do.

I’m still definitely a high achiever.

I do have goals and things that I am still, you know, reaching towards and deadlines and things of that nature.

But I also realized that the people that you work with and that you collaborate with and connect with are not necessarily focused on your perfection either.

It’s like, do we get the job done?

You know, did we come in on budget?

Did we come in on time?

Patrice – 08:45

Like those types of things.

So they, I think that’s something that I kind of put on myself that like that maybe I projected but other people are expecting this of me so I know that I have to get this done and so just ridding myself of those expectations quite honestly is something that I think has been very helpful.

Avery – 09:00

Yes that’s so powerful and I just wanted to highlight that because I kind of had a feeling I knew the answer to that question because I think once we when we start thinking about like healing the burnout and working through some of those patterns and the habits and pushing yourself so hard we’re

worried that means that we’re now going to be this lazy potato that just sits there and does nothing and it is not that way at all you can still be super driven but the thing is you’ll actually be able to maintain that Rather than continue to burn out because as you mentioned it wasn’t like

you’ve only burnt out once.

It’s this vicious circle and it’s like we’ve talked about before too it’s actually not a cycle it’s more of a wave that we never really come back up to that full performance again until we really learn how to heal that nervous system that’s driving us forward but Yeah so I would love for you to

share a little bit more about financial stress and how that impacts us beyond just the financial situation because we all know that we’re not a being that lives in little silos and compartments everything kind of spills into each other so what is your experience working with people that experience

that financial stress?

Patrice – 10:11

Oh my goodness, that’s such a great point and I’m glad that you brought that up.

I’d say the gamut of emotions of situations, you know, unfortunately, money or the lack thereof is a result of a lot of breakups of relationships, partnerships as far as businesses go, you know, not Taking care of yourself physically and emotionally because you’re stressed all the time over where

the next paycheck is going to come and you know those situations where there’s more money it’s a vicious cycle like you mentioned with the burnout piece it’s just we feel like there’s just never enough and then i think that when we kind of operate from that place of scarcity as opposed

to maybe abundance and saying you know i have more than i need i’m always going to be able to you know replenish my bank account People are stressed, they’re becoming ill unfortunately and they’re not able to produce at the level that they would like to or that they achieve to because there’s

something that’s always kind of in the back of their mind that’s keeping them from being able to achieve what is it they’re looking to achieve.

And so when I connect with clients, one of the first things that we talk about is kind of like that mindset and understanding and unpacking your money story.

Because I think a lot of people either they’re, I don’t know if it’s that they don’t want to admit it or maybe they’re just not aware that we all have a money story.

Patrice – 11:29

And a lot of people have trauma around money.

So being able to understand that I think helps people really recalibrate themselves and be able to, you know, move, move on to the next phase of life that they’re looking to achieve.

Avery – 11:43

And so if someone’s listening to this right now and they’re just like well yeah like finances are a huge weight on my shoulder right now what first step would you encourage them to take?

Patrice – 11:51

One of the first things I would absolutely say is to pay attention to your bank accounts each and every month.

Even if it’s if you have like a money meeting with yourself or your spouse or your family or whomever, once a week, twice a week, you know, excuse me, once a week, once a week or twice a month.

It’s very important to understand where you are, you know, where are there areas where there might be waste?

Where can we cut back?

What is it that we’re really spending our money on?

And is it something that’s Paying dividends, quite honestly.

Because if it’s something that’s, you know, frivolous, which there’s nothing wrong with that every now and again, maybe that’s an area where we need to cut back or maybe rethink our spending.

Patrice – 12:29

So I think that’s one of the first things to do is really get intimate with your money.

Have a relationship with your money in your bank account and understand what you can and cannot realistically accomplish within a month.

And I think once we start getting realistic about that, instead of comparing ourselves to other people and trying to, you know, shoot for things that may be outside of our reach at this time, it’s better to really just be realistic with what we have, work with what we’ve got and utilize those

resources to the best of our abilities.

Avery – 12:59

I love that.

Awareness is always the first step and we can’t fix or do something about something which we’re not seeing at all.

Yeah, that’s really helpful Patrice, thank you so much for that.

So, if anybody’s listening and they want to know how to get in contact with you, where would you send them?

Patrice – 13:17

Oh boy, well I definitely send them to my website so that they may reach that www.patricenew.com.

The Maloy Group Inc.com.

I can also be reached on social media, Instagram, at your favorite tax strategist and on LinkedIn at Patrice J. Maloy.

So either one of those platforms is a great place to connect with me.

I’m looking forward to speaking with you all and learning how I can support you.

Avery – 13:43

Love it.

Patrice – 13:45

And I thank you for letting me share that information.

Avery – 13:48

Of course, yes, and we’ll link to all of those things in the show notes as well.

So now one quick question.

I know you do taxes for people in the US.

Is there other things that you offer to people that would be applicable regardless of where you are in the world or is it very much US focused?

Patrice – 14:05

So regardless of where you’re in the world, so bookkeeping for wherever you are, if it’s pounds, euros, whatever, we can still work on bookkeeping for you for your business.

Or individually, if you’re looking to identify what you’re spending your money on again and see it in plain black and white, we could do that for you.

We also do tax planning and strategies.

So for those of you who may have been impacted by a surprise tax bill, or you’re looking for ways to maybe shift your money so that you’re not paying more than you owe, we absolutely do that as well.

And coaching and consulting.

Avery – 14:35

Oh, beautiful.

Love that.

We do have a wide listener base.

So for those of you that are not listening in the US, then you definitely can still reach out to Patrice.

Thank you so much, Patrice.

This was so wonderful.

And I wish that people listening could see your beautiful smile because it’s just the entire time she’s just been such a light.

Avery – 14:55

And I’m sure you can hear it in her voice too.

So if there’s one thing which you would love for the person listening right now to know, what would that be?

Patrice – 15:05

I would say are we talking about just burnout in general or are we talking about finances?

What are we talking about here?

Avery – 15:11

So let’s go one for each.

I’ll put you on the spot so take your time if you need.

Patrice – 15:17

Okay.

So if we’re talking burnout, I would definitely say listen to your body.

Your body is such a great in tune, accurate indicator of what is happening in life.

Um, it’s telling you what it needs to do or what it doesn’t need to do.

So I’d highly recommend to listen to your body to avoid that burnout or to at least to minimize some of the, you know, the things that you’re feeling.

And in regards to the finances, I would definitely say that, um, Shame is something that I think has impacted people for a long time and I think unnecessarily so.

We’re not taught a lot of the times how to manage money, how to manage our finances, how to operate in the real world, quite honestly.

Patrice – 16:00

And that’s where I think a lot of people find challenges and kind of get themselves into trouble.

So I would definitely say that it is okay not to know what you don’t know, but if you have the opportunity to connect with somebody who can educate and empower you, I’d highly recommend doing that.

Avery – 16:15

Beautiful.

Both beautiful messages.

And I think that bit that you shared about burnout, I think probably about 80% of our guests use that one as well.

So if you have not been listening to your body, here’s your sign.

Here’s your sign.

Well, thank you so much, Patrice.

Again, this was so wonderful, so insightful.

Avery – 16:35

Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your experiences with us.

And yes, I really look forward to collaborating with you more soon.

Patrice – 16:42

Yeah, thank you so much for having me.

I really appreciate it.

Avery – 16:47

Uh, excuse me, one second please before you skip on to the next podcast.

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